A writer's notes on family
by sue campbell
Nora was perched on the counter top and I was seated at the kitchen table.
“Mom! Come here I need to talk to you!” she yelled, as if I were in the basement.
“How do you ask me nicely?” I asked.
“Mommy, can you please may come here, please?” She knows she should say “may,” she just doesn’t know where to put it.
I got up and walked three feet to stand in front of her.
“Yes?”
“Mom, um. Grown-up poops don’t smell that good.”
Sigh.
by sue campbell
This is the routine when Nora tells me she has to go potty: We walk quickly (no running, it freaks her out) to the bathroom. I pull down her pants and lift her onto the big toilet. (She finds potty chairs insulting.) I sit across from her on a little stool Ben and Nora built together. She pees. If she poops, it can take awhile (she eats loads of fiber). It is the perfect time for bonding. Light streams in through the bathroom window and her big blue eyes practically glow. We talk about things: chickens, her friend Otto from school, what seeds we’d like to plant in the garden. Sometimes we sit forehead to forehead, smooching. Then I hear a plop sound.
“Is it time to wipe?” I ask.
“I’m still pooping,” she says, brow furrowed. So we talk some more. Sometimes I get a little teary. She’s so beautiful. So fun to talk to.
For the record, I may be a sentimental freak who can cry tears of joy while sitting in a room that reaks of human waste, but this doesn’t happen to only me. Ben has had this experience with her, too. On more than one occasion, he comes out the the bathroom with her and gives me the “Sue, our daughter is amazing.”
At daycare, she goes to the bathroom, pulls down her pants, sits on the toilet, wipes, flushes and washes her hands with little to no assistance. When I try to get her to do this at home, she say, “I want you to do it.” I think she likes the bathroom bonding time as much as I do. But I am glad it’s warming up outside, so I can crack the window.
by sue campbell
One of my proudest moments as a parent was when my daughter’s teacher told me that Nora was the best eater and the best pooper in class.
Nora was calling bran muffins “cookies” until she was about 18 months old. Some of her favorite foods are olives, hummus, whole wheat bread, broccoli and tuna. She once asked for capers to be added to her casserole.
We never ask Nora to try new foods. If I suspect there may be something she’s reluctant to try, I won’t put any on her plate. I’ll give an ample portion to my husband and myself and nine times out of ten she is jealous of something she doesn’t have and will ask for some. I give her some of what’s on my plate and she feels like a grown-up.
It is not a magic trick to get a toddler to eat well. It’s a matter of consistently offering healthy choices. I’ve noticed that when we do have junk food in the house, it’s all any of us can think about eating. So it’s rare for us to have cookies or ice cream in stock. Often, when Nora asks for a treat, I reach in my pocket and pull out an imaginary piece of candy and tell her it’s pink. Then I give her some apple slices with peanut butter.
Considering that as a child I subsisted on bologna, macaroni and cheese, scrambled eggs and frosting, you’d think karma would dictate that my daughter would be picky. Luckily, this is not the case, and I continue encourage her healthy eating habits. Thankfully, poop is the least of my rewards for the effort.