I once had a life coach disguised as a billiards teacher. While I didn’t actually learn to play pool, I did learn lots of other stuff. Like the concept of choosing a state over a status.
Allow me to illustrate this concept:
- A woman limping along the street in ridiculously high heels values the status of fancy shoes over the state of comfortable feet.
- Someone driving a brand new luxury car s/he cannot really afford values the status of owning a Lexus over the state of having a healthy savings account.
- A child who takes abuse from a popular kid to stay in a clique values the status of that “friendship” over the state of having a true one.
The trick to this is stopping to identify if the choice you are about to make is based on status or state. It’s not always as cut and dry as the examples above.
Take Nora’s wicker lunch basket, for example. The supply list sent out by her Waldorf school called for a “plain wicker basket” for packed lunches. I fell in love with this idea. How rustic and earthy. How very Waldorf.
We went to Goodwill and picked out several baskets, looking for the right fit. Everyday, we were schlepping a basket weighed down with an ice pack, water bottle and food onto the bus. Half the time the contents dumped out on the sticky bus floor.
Last week, the assistant teacher pulled me aside and let me know Nora was struggling to carry her basket outside by herself. It was heavy and clunky. One day, it had actually brought her to tears. I immediately realized my mistake: the wicker basket was a Waldorf status symbol.
Last weekend, we purchased a cloth lunch bag with a zipper. I can carry it in my bag on the bus, and Nora can easily tote it around.
Charming baskets be damned.