• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Mommy's Pen

A writer's notes on family

  • Podcast
  • About
  • My Book
  • Hire Me
  • Subscribe!
You are here: Home / Archives for holidays

holidays

The Pregnant Lady’s 12 Days of Christmas

December 21, 2014 by Sue Campbell

1063960_10203970541457810_8488065736477809134_o

On the first day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the second day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the third day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the fifth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the sixth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the seventh day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Seven belly bands,

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the eighth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Eight pairs of bigger panties,

Seven belly bands,

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the ninth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Nine panty-liners,

Eight pairs of bigger panties,

Seven belly bands,

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the tenth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Ten prenatal vitamins,

Nine panty-liners,

Eight pairs of bigger panties,

Seven belly bands,

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Eleven Tums for heartburn,

Ten prenatal vitamins,

Nine panty-liners,

Eight pairs of bigger panties,

Seven belly bands,

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas

my true love gave to me:

Twelve Tucks pads,

Eleven Tums for heartburn,

Ten prenatal vitamins,

Nine panty-liners,

Eight pairs of bigger panties,

Seven belly bands,

Six pairs maternity leggings,

Five colace pills,

Four bra extenders,

Three cups of decaf,

Two grams of melatonin and

A wedge pillow for under my belly.

Filed Under: Complete Nonsense Tagged With: Christmas, holidays, pregnancy

How We Celebrate

January 4, 2012 by sue campbell

I did an article for Metro Parent magazine’s December issue on how local families make holidays special and meaningful.  And I almost bit through my bottom lip that I couldn’t share personal anecdotes for the piece. Good thing I have my own blog.

On the Campbell side, there is a tradition to exchange “table gifts.” On labor day, every family member draws a name, then each person makes a gift for whoever they drew.  We open the gifts at the table during Christmas dinner.

This year, I drew Debbie, my mother-in-law.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it here, but my in-laws are locked in an epic battle with the squirrels in their yard.  They call them “diablo” squirrels. Apparently squirrels dig holes in the lawn and ruin it. I never noticed, probably because my lawn is never nice enough to ruin.  Or maybe the dog is pooping in the holes, thereby covering them up. Anyhoo, Larry and Debbie set live traps for those cute little critters (L & D are vegetarians, so killing them is not an option) and relocate them across the river. Ben and I think this battle is sort of funny and, um, futile.  So, for Debbie’s table gift, I was able to do something really nice and yet mock her at the same time.  I made her these:

 

Fair Isle Mittens with Squirrel and Snowflake Motifs

Ben drew my name. While I was inside by the fire knitting squirrel mittens, Ben was out in his shop with the oxyacetylene torch making me this:

A Stained Glass Lantern

My mind was thoroughly blown. Ben has never worked with stained glass before, much less with braising brass fittings to create a screw top and bottom to insert the candle. And, he knows me well enough to use the lead-free sauter — one wouldn’t want to poison oneself or family, now would one?

Nora made a vintage inspired Christmas ornament for her great-grandpa (she calls him Great Papa), and got a perfectly girly hand painted jewelry case from her Aunt.

Then we ate a scrumptious dinner cooked by Debbie and my sister-in-law Elizabeth. That’s right, I didn’t have to cook. And I even remembered to help clean up afterwards instead of just rushing for the gift pile.

On the Burdick side,  I was a little worried about my nephews being able to warm up to me in a hurry since they only see me twice a year.  So I bought a face painting kit complete with a book of how-to diagrams for the artistically impaired (me) and pulled it out of my bag as soon as we got there. My nephew, Sameer, who’s Nora’s age, got to choose whatever he wanted from the book and I got to hold his sweet face in my hands while he held still.

My Nephew's Adorable Cheek
And His Other Adorable Cheek
My Sister as a Super Villain
My Other Nephew as, um, a Train Robber?
Nora Picked the Hardest Thing in the Whole Book

I also painted a monkey with its tail curled around my mom’s arm, but forgot to snap a picture of it. Eventually, the kids seized the paint tray and started painting one another’s legs. Then the grown kids got down to playing some Beatles Rockband on the Xbox. This is the only thing we have that resembles a tradition as we’ve done it three years in a row. This year, however, someone was smart enough to hide the microphone from me.  And we made a whole mess of tamales for Christmas dinner.

All-in-all, I couldn’t have asked for a better or more memorable holiday.

Happy New Year!

Link Up!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Bonding, Crafts Tagged With: face painting, fair isle knitting, holidays, squirrel mittens, tamales

Primary Sidebar

Listen to the podcast.

Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Twitter

What kind of blog is this?

This is a blog for PARENTS. True, the writer, Sue Campbell, writes books for kids. But this blog is for grown-ups. It has some swearing and would be super boring for kids. Except for the swearing.

The PODCAST is for KIDS and PARENTS. In fact, my twelve-year-old daughter is my co-host.

If your kids like Sue's books, send them over to suecampbellbooks.com where there's some kid-friendly content. EVEN BETTER, join the mailing list. You get stuff for grown-ups and printable stuff for kids. And sometimes there will be super ill-advised giveaways or coloring contests for free books.

MORE ABOUT SUE: She makes an ACTUAL LIVING from writing words and marketing books and lives with her husband, two daughters, six chickens and one messy house rabbit in Portland, Oregon. And yes, Portland IS that weird. She really couldn't be any luckier.

Search

Archives

  • ►2020
    • ►March
    • ►February
  • ►2019
    • ►November
    • ►October
    • ►September
    • ►August
    • ►July
    • ►June
    • ►May
    • ►April
    • ►March
    • ►February
    • ►January
  • ►2018
    • ►December
    • ►November
    • ►October
    • ►September
    • ►August
    • ►July
  • ►2017
    • ►June
    • ►April
    • ►January
  • ►2016
    • ►August
    • ►July
    • ►June
    • ►May
    • ►January
  • ►2015
    • ►December
    • ►November
    • ►September
    • ►July
    • ►June
    • ►April
    • ►March
    • ►February
    • ►January
  • ►2014
    • ►December
    • ►March
  • ►2013
    • ►November
    • ►August
    • ►July
    • ►February
    • ►January
  • ►2012
    • ►August
    • ►July
    • ►March
    • ►February
    • ►January
  • ►2011
    • ►December
    • ►November
    • ►October
    • ►September
    • ►August
    • ►July
    • ►June
    • ►May
    • ►April
    • ►March
    • ►February
    • ►January
  • ►2010
    • ►December
    • ►November
    • ►October
    • ►September
    • ►August
    • ►July
    • ►June
    • ►May
    • ►April
    • ►March
    • ►February
    • ►January
  • ►2009
    • ►December

Like Mommy’s Pen

As seen at:

Scary Mommy
I'm Published by Mamalode!

Footer

View our privacy policy.

Copyright © 2023 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

I use cookies to ensure that I give you the best experience on my website. If you continue to use this site I will assume that you are happy with it.Ok