10 Years of marriage.
I can hardly believe it’s been that long, yet I can’t remember what it’s like not to have Ben by my side.
I’ve been in a list making mood since my birthday post. So here’s another list of things I’ve learned, this time marriage specific.
- There should be nothing you can’t talk about.
- Never drag your partner somewhere (s)he doesn’t want to be, at least not if you want to enjoy yourself.
- Don’t play games; ask for what you need. Then ask again 3 months later. (Everybody needs reminders.)
- Keep working your biggest issue
- Make sure it’s not always the same person doing the accommodating, both of you need to give.
- Little notes, telling old stories and inside jokes are great ways to stay connected.
- Make sure both of you are getting plenty of vitamin D. Grind the pills into spaghetti sauce if you have to.
- Make common goals and work together to attain them (especially financial ones).
- Let your limbic system cool down. If you can’t talk without yelling, wait it out.
- Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, you can’t be a good partner if you’re not doing what you need to do to stay emotionally and physically healthy.
One final note, ten years later, I am more sure than ever that I married the right man for me.
I love you, Ben.