Step 1. Wake up several times during the night, then take an extra long nap, so you are rested and I am not. (Note: Skipping this step will dramatically reduce desired results.)
Step 2. Employ any or all of the following techniques:
a. Repeat the same request 700 times after I’ve explained why it’s not possible or must wait. Example: We are in the car and you say you are thirsty and need a glass of milk. I say, “Ok, honey, we’re almost home and then I’ll get you some milk.” This is your cue to chant, “Mommy, I’m thirsty and I want milk, Mommy I’m thirsty and I want milk…”
b. While I am preparing a meal, pull on my clothing and pick your feet off the ground.
c. Wait until I am collapsed on the sofa, request a cuddle with me, commence squirming.
d. While we are reading stories in bed, lay on my right side and when you want a closer look at the book, hoist yourself up and dig your left elbow into my right breast.
e. After I’ve taken you potty and tucked you into bed, call to me that you need to go potty again. Pee a teaspoon. Repeat.