Every Saturday I bring you a parenting mistake my husband and I have made. Please have a laugh or cry at our expense — we really are good parents, I swear.
I’m still having difficulties with daycare pick-up. On Thursday, there was a full-fledged meltdown. I let Nora finish her art project and then told her it was time to leave. She asked for a sticker (they keep stickers by the door — not helpful). I said you don’t get stickers for doing art projects, you get an art project. So, of course, she asks to go potty, something she does get a sticker for.
Then she climbs on a chair and says she going to jump into the bathroom. Unacceptable, obviously. When she persists in this I pick her up and carry her out. Screaming ensues. She shrieks about having to go potty, so I tell her she can go potty in the lobby bathroom, instead of the classroom. I carry her to the lobby where she throws herself on the floor, kicking and shrieking. “I WANNA GO POTTY IN THE CLASSROOM!” Parents are walking through the lobby and nodding sympathetically. I remain perfectly calm and hold my ground, explaining that her choices are to go potty in the lobby bathroom or go out to the car.
Finally, she settles down to the point where I get her in the lobby bathroom but then she starts all over again. She doesn’t want the walls in the bathroom to be blue. This is toddler irrationality in it’s glory, but at least she speaking instead of screaming. I dip an imaginary paint brush in the sink and paint the walls. She consents to get on the toilet. Then she doesn’t like the photos of kids on the wall. She wants them to be photos of her. I AM NOT KIDDING! Her narcissism is unrivaled by any rockstar. I pretend to paint over the faces of a dozen kids, making a wall of imaginary Nora. She’s done peeing. I skip the handwashing and hustle her to the car, we are both soaked in sweat.
I am open to suggestions, people.