Mommy's Pen

A writer's notes on family

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Archives for June 2011

35 Things I’ve Learned in the Last 35 Years

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In no particular order:

  1. Folding laundry is for chumps
  2. Chronic disease is much preferable to fatal disease; remember this when you feel like whining
  3. Eat small amounts of real food every three hours
  4. Drink water 99 percent of the time, beer 1 percent
  5. You will never regret planting more vegetables; you will often regret planting more grass
  6. Mulching is never a waste of time
  7. You will always order more mulch than you will feel like shoveling in a day — just move it from the driveway to little piles in the garden and worry about spreading another day
  8. Before the age of twelve and after the age of twenty, television is a waste of time
  9. Accurate measuring is the only path to good results (think knitting, sewing, blood glucose)
  10. Admit when you’re wrong or you don’t know
  11. You can’t do anything well or enjoy anything thoroughly without enough sleep
  12. Shoes should be shaped like feet
  13. You can’t spend too much on good shoes and good bras
  14. You can easily spend too much on everything else
  15. Figure out what makes your partner feel special and do it as often as you can
  16. Resentment hurts no one as much as the resenter; forgive freely
  17. Keep extra socks and underwear at your desk
  18. Buy yourself flowers from time to time, because you’re the only one who understands how much you love them
  19. Kid snuggles are the best thing ever
  20. Eye cream is not a gimic
  21. Your body loves exercise, don’t let your brain talk you out of it
  22. Wait a week to think about big purchases
  23. The house doesn’t look clean unless the kitchen is clean
  24. Always keep the following staples on hand: Parmigiano Reggiano, lemons, olive oil, pasta, onions, garlic, pancetta, white beans
  25. Call your mom more, you’ll miss her when she’s gone
  26. “How you breathe is how you live” — breathe deeply
  27. Do the biggest thing you’ve ever dreamed of doing
  28. Whenever you are suffering, ask yourself how much of it is because of your own attitude or behavior
  29. Wool is the answer to damp, cold environments
  30. All baked goods are better with nuts, preferably pecans
  31. Don’t schedule things on weeknights
  32. Always play dress up when invited
  33. Treat children with respect
  34. Make things
  35. Always sing along when you love the tune, even if you don’t know all the words

She Who Thinks the Fastest Wins

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My dear friend @kristinglas over at Peace, Love and Muesli has a great linky going right now. It showcases a mom’s ability to think fast, multi-task and make life just a little bit better in so many ways.

The idea is that a bunch of us will share our greatest fast thinking moments, and benefit from each other’s genius. (I least that’s what I think the idea is — Kristin can correct me if I’m wrong.)

So here’s my latest fast thinking…

I’m keeping a half an eye on my neighbor’s house while she’s in Arizona.  My neighbor happens to have some fabulous rose bushes in her front yard.  Roses she’s not here to enjoy.  So, when Nora and I walk over to pick up the mail, we bring along a pruners and steal a big bouquet for our table.  Some call it thieving, I call it good thinking.

Now head over to Peace, Love and Muesli and check out some other great ideas or add some to the collective wisdom pile…

Why it’s Best I Don’t Own a Firearm

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For the first few days I’m on the pump, I have to wake every three hours and test my blood sugar, to insure my insulin doses are set up correctly. Going in, I was short of sleep. So, last night, my nurse agreed to give me a break for a night.

Nora was tucked in and sleeping, I was dosing off, with the help of my good friend dyphenhydramine (I wasn’t leaving a good night’s sleep to chance!). It was nearly 9:00pm.

And then some jerk knocked on the front door, causing the dog to bark and Nora to wake up crying in fright.

I flew to the front door and opened the peep hole. It was not a neighbor in need of help, it was two schmucks I’d never seen before. “Go away!” I shouted and slammed the peep hole.

“Go away?” the fat jerk queried in a surprised, nearly mocking tone.

There are many things I could have said in response.  For example:

“Listen Jackass, you just woke up my entire family, the chances of you selling me anything are the same as your chances of seeing me eat two turds plucked out of a stinking, tepid rain barrel.”

— or —

“You’re lucky I don’t own a gun, fatty, cause you’d be ready for the smokehouse right about now, so BEAT IT.”

— or —

“Sick ’em, Butch!” Cue the ferocious barking mix tape.

But he didn’t deserve a response, and Nora needed attending.

Seriously,  those two asshat solictors are so lucky I don’t own hand gun.

Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

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Goodness, help me, I vlogged about my new insulin pump.

This is for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. 

I did this for all you non-diabetics out there.

The video doesn’t contain a comprehensive explanation of how an insulin pump works, so if you have questions, by all means, ask. 

I’m already far into TMI territory, but I’m willing to show my tummy and answer questions if it increases understanding of diabetes.