4:50 pm: Daughter and I arrive home. Husband is playing fetch with dog in the backyard. I preheat the oven for dinner.
5:05 pm: Husband plays with daughter while I make meatballs and start water boiling for pasta.
5:06 pm: Dog pukes on the living room floor.
5:06:30: pm Husband pukes while shoveling dog’s puke into the garbage can with a spatula. Daughter cries.
5:07 pm: I discover I have placed a paring knife between the burner and the stock pot. It is now on fire.
5:07:30 pm: I use tongs to carry the burning knife outside. It smolders in the driveway.
5:08:00 pm: I grab the enzyme cleaner and a roll of paper towels, sending husband and daughter to the bedroom.
5:10 pm: Husband, daughter and I regroup in the dining room and do a few deep breathing exercises to calm ourselves.
5:40 pm: We enjoy our spaghetti and meatballs.
6:30 pm: Bedtime.