Mommy's Pen

A writer's notes on family

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Let’s Try Something New

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12495156_10207233099259716_8862480558428474924_nMy children turned me into the writer I always wanted to be.

When I was childless, I was pretty damn lazy. That first kid, a daughter, lit a fire under me. I had to show my girl how to live your dreams.

So I started a mommy blog. Eight years later, I have a second daughter (still an infant), my own freelance writing business with a small stable of clients, a completed kids’ novel, a literary agent and a second book underway.

Hot damn!

But it turns out, I have very little will leftover after the paying the bills with words to stay in touch with my mommy blogging roots. Which sucks, because I think my blog has been the place I’ve done some of my best work.

I’ve sold parenting pieces to big sites (Scary Mommy, Mamalode, etc) but I have a few problems with doing that. Most of them want your copyrights. And most of them want pieces that have a very specific tone.

And I have a specific tone of my own. I’m not loving selling pieces of my innermost mind told in a tone that’s not entirely mine. And for a pittance.

So I’m trying an experiment based on the principle that money creates a deeper engagement and accountability.

As a professional writer, I bust my ass to please my clients.

As a reader, I engage more deeply with content I’ve paid to read. I’m not saying that’s right or wrong, it just is.

Things with dollars attached tend to get more care and attention from makers and consumers.

So I’m putting aside my midwestern humility and asking you this question:

If something I’ve written at Mommy’s Pen has spoken to you, would you be willing to pay a buck or two to read another thing like it?

The most I’ll blog is twice per month. And that’s my stretch goal. Once every month or two is far more likely. Either way, I promise not to run you into the poor house by suddenly becoming a hugely prolific blogger. And I promise not to just spit out some trash so I can hear a cash register sound in my head. I’ll work hard to post something worth reading. Right now, I’m itching to write about Nora’s developmental phase: the nine-year-change. This is a Waldorf concept that I wish more parents knew about. It’s a big deal.

I’m hoping you’ll throw in a buck. I’ve got some public radio type ways to thank you if you do.

Here’s where you go to pledge.

But even if you don’t support me, I’m hoping you’ll look through http://Patreon.com and find an artist whose work makes you shout, “Yes!” and support them instead.

Patreon is a fantastic tool helping artists make the art we humans so desperately need. And you get to play the role of patron of the arts! Go ahead, dress up like Lorenzo de’ Medici if you want. I won’t tell.

My humble thanks for your consideration.

Sue

Shipping News #Day 1

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You know what I mean by shipping? If you’re a fan of Seth Godin, you know shipping means putting yourself out there. Producing something and setting it on an accessible shelf for the world to explore.

See that #Day1 hashtag up in the title of this post? That’s Seth’s influence again. One of his people is hosting the “Your Turn Challenge.”  It’s designed to get creators out of a rut by employing some camaraderie and social accountability.

And that’s what I need right now.

There have been some periods in my life when I got pretty good at shipping. The biggest productivity jolt was thanks to becoming a parent and not being able to face the cognitive dissonance of trying raising a girl to live her passion while not living my own. So I started doing that thing I’d always wanted to do: writing. That was 2009, when my daughter was two.

I just went through the archives of this blog and realized how much those early years of writing meant to me. I improved. I stumbled. I improved some more. I gained confidence. I started freelancing and making money from my words.

I got confident enough to tell myself that I wanted to write a book before I was forty. Just a few weeks after setting that goal, I busted out a crummy first draft of a chapter book for kids. That was in August of 2013.

Today, after many revisions and lots of feedback from my endless pool of talented friends (who are actually earth-bound angels, I’m convinced) I have a polished draft and an active agent search, that I hope will soon wrap up so I can begin the knee-knocking process of watching an agent try to sell my book. (Before I’m forty, fingers crossed!)

Oh, and I’m pregnant again. So shipping has been much, much slower as I deal with all the little u-turns and inconveniences that gestating can bring.

The wonderful news is there’s going to be yet another girl child. And I will show her that you can do what you love. You just need commitment and discipline and a bunch of people on Facebook and Twitter to call you out on your excuses.

I will keep shipping. For me and my girls.

10 Reasons I Haven’t Blogged in 5 Months

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1. For awhile, all I thought about was Hoover and there are only so many doggie cancer posts I can subject all of you lovely people to.

2. I fell into a brief, grief-related depression and needed to focus on eating spinach dip.

3. Nora wasn’t saying anything blog-worthy, because she was too sad. (See reason #1.)

4. I was busy with freelance writing assignments, for awhile.

5. Somehow I got talked into supervising people at my day job. And that shit is tiring. (Don’t worry, it’s only temporary.)

6. I spent several hours each day trying to prevent our new dog from eating the living room rug.

7. Then I was busy with the holidays.

8. I was knitting a shawl for Nora, then a big-ass doily-blanket thingy.

9. I simply fell out the habit. And that’s a very bad thing for a writer to do.

10. I needed time to figure out if this blog still had a place in my life.

And I think it does. Here’s what to expect from Mommy’s Pen going forward:

  • stories of my family that (hopefully) connect with your experience
  • new dog antics (his name is Charlie, he’s a big spazz)
  • recipes
  • crafting exploits
  • links to what I’m writing elsewhere
  • photos of Nora, she’s doing a 365 photo project this year

Basically, I’m going hodge-podge on your asses; it’s whatever I feel like saying, whenever I feel like saying it.

I hope you’re still with me. What’s been going on with you?

 

It Happens Every Fall

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September and October are hands down my favorite months of the year. The harvest in my garden is still going strong. I can start to wear sweaters and knee high boots.  The weather is cooler and it doesn’t rain everyday (yet). Something in my primitive brain kicks in and I start cooking and knitting and nesting like a maniac.  And guess what?  This blog is the thing that suffers.  So, sorry, I guess.  But I’m having such fun.

In the past few weeks, I’ve finished a sweater for Nora, finished a mitten and started the second for an undisclosed holiday recipient, spun some of the glorious fiber I got at the Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival, painted my inglorious mudroom, and started cooking my way, recipe by recipe, through Mark Bitmann’s Food Matters Cookbook.  And I’ve been making about two loaves of zucchini bread a week.  And going to yoga.  And taking care of baby chicks. And working on freelance articles.  And playing Uno and Old Maid with Nora and watching countless dance performances in my living room. And working my full-time day job. Oh, and I read a whole book!  (I love reading, but it also gets back-burnered most of the time time, as Nora makes it her personal mission to stop me, “Mommy, I’m closing this book and putting it over here and you may have it in the morning.”)

And the whole time?  I’ve been blogging in my head and not getting it down in my favorite digital format: WordPress.  Mainly because it’s all been snippets:

Nora releasing my hand in the hardware store and running a quick step ahead to clutch Ben’s hand instead. He was leading the way to fresh popcorn.

The delight of seeing Nora in blue jeans, which she never wears, while she helps Ben change the oil on the car.  She charges into the house, “Mommy, I need daddy’s keys, we’re ready to fire it up!”

I’m in the shower and Nora is sitting on the toilet with the seat down, keeping me company. She says, “Mommy, you’ll probably die before me, because when you were a kid, I wasn’t even around yet. Right?”

And I miss reading all of your lovely blogs.  The stories of your beautiful lives.

I know from experience this is cyclical.  This is where I am right now — and I love it — and soon I’ll be in another place; a very rainy place, with a Macbook on my lap.

 

I Went to BlogHer ’11 and All I Got Was This Stupid Staph Infection

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Okay, that’s just a headline to grab your attention. I mean, I did get a staph infection from the hotel hot tub, but I got a lot of other stuff to boot. And I’m not talking about swag.

I learned so much.

My plan was to post it all on Google+, but I’ve decided to share it here, after all.

And I want some kind of tardiness award.  As it’s been three and a half weeks and everything that can possibly be said about Blogher ’11 has already been said by the 3799 other bloggers in attendance.

First, let’s dispense with the unstructured lessons:

  • I learned who Bob Harper is.  The hard way. I thought I was crashing a yoga class and ended up in boot camp with the trainer from the Biggest Loser.  This is what I get for not owning a T.V. I couldn’t walk properly for three days. You can read about it at Jessica Anne’s blog Adventures with Three Girls.
  • I learned to always double check that the security tag has been removed from your fancy dress before you sit down to listen to a tear-jerking Voice of the Year keynote. It’s distracting to be drying your eyes listening to the fabulous Lori from In Pursuit of it All to look down to see an ink filled cartridge riveted to your flowy skirt.
  • I learned to never, ever use a public hot tub again. Ever.  I woke in a fever in the middle of the night the Monday after my return to find a large, painful lump under my left armpit.  Being a good hypochondriac, I rushed the to the doctor the next day to be diagnosed with a staph infection. I don’t ever want to hear anyone trash talk antibiotics. There are no bad anti-biotics, just bad people who don’t properly maintain hot tubs.

Now, for the structured learning.

The Sessions.

Transcripts for most of the sessions are available on Blogher.com. Now I’ve lost you. I’ll struggle through anyway. 

Here’s a list of all the sessions I attended and my pithy takeaways from each:

How to Leverage Your Blog to Sell E-Products: I didn’t really intend to go to this session, but it was in the first timeslot of the conference before I had my bearings and my bloggy wife Kristin was going, so I tagged along. It was terrific.  And inspiring.  Here were women who had made their blogs into careers and spent their time creating great content and connecting with people.  And they didn’t have to have a day job to support it.

Takeaways:

  • “There is something out there that you can create”
  • Listen to what your readers want from you
  • Ask yourself what’s holding you back
  • Always be skeptical of your inner “you do you think you are” voice
  • E-products will feed your passion and allow you to pay your bills; if you taught yoga, would you feel bad about charging people for lessons?
  • People engage at a deeper level when they pay for something
  • Offer a range of price points
  • Market gracefully

Peer Networking: Another terrific panel of folks I’ve never heard of before who I now follow and admire.

Takeaways:

  • Networking is like dating: find people you like and take it slow
  • Have a team of people who support you in your personal and professional endeavors
  • There is room enough for everyone, you’re not really in competition with folks
  • People will help you learn and grow in your blogging endeavors and you in turn will help others

Page to Stage: Two smart, funny women talking about what you need to do to choose and present a piece of your writing an audience.

Takeaways:

  • Don’t choose the piece you feel showcases your writing chops
  • Cut, cut, cut; particularly anything that can be conveyed live should not be said in words: pauses, stares, etc.
  • Slow down
  • Nerves are good, nerves keep it real and give a reading energy, it’s okay if you are shaking
  • Make your own opportunites!
  • A single piece can play very differently to different audiences

Humor Blogging: I was worried, based on the lackluster introduction from the moderator, that this session would be a dud.  Thanks to the participants, it turned out great. It was, however, the only session where I didn’t take notes, so not as many takeaways.

Takeaways:

  • Be careful what you blog; you could end up in front of a judge, or give bullies ammo to target your child
  • Don’t be careful what you blog; risky is funnier

How to Pitch Freelance Work from Some Busy Editorial People: This was one of the most helpful sessions for me personallly.

Takeaways:

  • Know the magazine
  • Looking for diverse viewpoints
  • Craft your personal experience into a service article
  • Keep pitches brief
  • Mention your online presence in your pitch
  • Have a writer’s website to showcase your clips
  • Join a professinal magazine association: NPA, AMSME, Avant Guild (Medio Bistro)
  • Attend events and network; you have a better chance getting jobs from people you have a relationship with
  • Syndicate what you already have posted on your blog
  • Don’t email a pitch on the weekends, try Tuesday lunchtime, so your email doesn’t get buried
  • Don’t pitch the first two weeks of the month when a magazine if shipping, editors are too busy

How to Pitch a Book: Another stellar panel, funny, too.

Takeaways:

  • Novels and memoirs need to be written before you contact an agent or publisher
  • Non-fiction requires a book proposal only before getting an agent
  • Resource: agentquery.com
  • Check books that are similar to yours and check the acknowledgements page for the agent’s name
  • Query young and hungry as well as established agents
  • Agents and publishers wants something from an angle they’ve never seen before
  • Keep agent queries to 250 words
  • Don’t whine
  • Read agent blogs
  • Don’t call an agent unless they already represent you
  • For fiction, first sentence should tell: Genre, title, word count, hook, plot
  • Send the non-fiction proposal with the query, even if the submission guidelines say they don’t want it

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to hurry up and book my ticket for Blogher ’12.

Top Ten Things I Loved About Attending Blogher 11

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My goals for my first Blogher conference were as follows:

  • Learn stuff
  • Have fun
  • Don’t get sore feet

While I admit to suffering a blister from cheap flip flops, I am happy to say I met my other goals, plus got a whole lot more in the bargain.

Here’s what I loved about going off to a conference sans family:

1. Flying without the need for child wrangling
2. Sleeping in a big bed all by myself
3. Meeting awesome people, especially my bloggy wife @kristinglas
4. Laying down without becoming coated in dog hair
5. Other people being in charge of feeding me
6. Learning from smart, experienced — often funny — women
7. Wearing a fancy dress and fancy shoes (even though I discovered — to my horror — that the security tag was still attached to my brand new dress)
8. Justifying the purchase of my iPad (it was a great tool to capture my learning)
9. Hot tub access
10. Plentiful guilt swag to bring back to Nora

In the next few days, I’ll be posting what I actually learned from the conference on google+, as it doesn’t really fit the theme of this blog. If you’d like to be in the know, you can check me out over there. (And leave a comment if you need an invite to google+, I still have some. It’s okay if I don’t know you very well, I’m happy to share until I run out.)