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Adulthood

Bedtime is the Worst; Story time is the Best

March 4, 2019 by Sue Campbell

Bedtime is the worst.

It involves so much cajoling and negotiating and adhering to a routine that only seems to grow more complex.

Such is the life of a parent with a preschooler. 

Alma, our almost-four-year-old, is an amazing kid. Smart, funny, and WILLFUL as all hell.

(The universal mother was all, “Oh, you thought your first kid was willful? Hold my mead.“)

While I have no doubt this quality will serve her exceptionally well someday, it makes many of my days rather trying and leaves me longing for bedtime.

There’s very little time after dinner that doesn’t involve trying to steer her toward bed. We must get pajamas on (unless I can convince her to sleep in what she’s wearing), but she doesn’t want to pick them by herself, and she definitely doesn’t want me to choose them for her. I am basically supposed to keep her company in her room while she chooses, and inevitably wants pajamas that are in the laundry instead of clean and ready in her bottom drawer. 

Then there must be “bedtime snack time.” (And yes, we just ate an hour ago.) Then teeth must be brushed and the PINK water bottle fetched and placed near the bed for last minute drink requests.

During all of this, I have to get myself ready for bed. I get into pajama bottoms and keep on whatever t-shirt I happen to be wearing. I take my blood sugar and calibrate my continuous glucose monitor. I take my nighttime supplements. I brush my teeth (or skip, because better me than her when it comes to that particular corner cutting). And I check in with Nora and make sure her homework got done and tell her what an amazing kid she is and kiss her goodnight.

Then Alma needs to say goodnight. Ben and Nora each get a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then — this is so adorable we can barely stand it — she takes each of their hands and kisses them one at a time.

Then she starts manically jumping on the bed.

My only hope of speeding up this process is the promise of a long story time if she just hurries up already. “If you finish up we’ll have time for LOTS of stories!”

Story time is the best.

We do at least two stories every night. Last night we did ten. I’ve tried skipping story time as a natural consequence for bedtime pokiness, but it doesn’t feel right to either of us and always ends in tears.

No matter how tired I am, the minute she curls up next to me and we dive into the stack of books she’s picked, well, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

And, willful as she is, the stories are rarely read from one end to the other without lots of questions, comments, or flat out demands that I modify the story in some way to suit her.

She doesn’t want me to read the inciting incident in One Fine Day where the old woman cuts off the fox’s tail. (Who could blame her?)

She’s doesn’t want me to read the first little bit in The Little Red Hen Makes a Pizza where the hen actually decides to make the pizza. (Maybe she wants it to be a surprise?)

She wants me to make up entirely new words to the ABC book. (This is just as well, as it isn’t actually a kids book at all, but V is for Vulnerable by Seth Godin that she pulled off my shelf and claimed as her own.)

And — my favorite modification — she doesn’t want to heed the bus driver in Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus: “Let’s let him drive, mama!” 

There’s always a big objection when reading time is over, but we usually extend it by turning out the light and listening to an Ivy & Bean audio book. 

When I get the bedtime timing right, she’s drifting off to sleep just as Ivy and Bean are launching into mischief, around 7:30 p.m.

Then my private story time begins. I switch the audio book to Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Becoming by Michelle Obama, or, if the day has been especially trying, anything by the buddhist nun Pema Chödrön.

Then I lose myself in a story and eventually drift off to join Alma in dreamland.

Filed Under: Adulthood, Books

Your Snobbery Will Not Be Rewarded

February 19, 2019 by Sue Campbell

Most of my snobbery is of the intellectual variety, not the socio-economic. But still, it’s there. Since I was a teenager I tended to look down my nose at mainstream fiction and pop-culture. I was suspicious of anything enjoyed by “the masses.”

Which meant I missed out on a lot of good stuff. Like the entire Harry Potter series as it was being released, for instance. Gah!

Why? Fear.

I’m pretty sure that’s all snobbery actually is — just a fancy form of fear. If we partake in something that might be seen a silly, frivolous or low class, we’re afraid we’ll be judged harshly by those even snobbier (and more afraid) than we are.

But truly, I can’t think of a single instance where my snobbery has served me well (beyond maybe saving me from food poisoning, but food snobbery is something else altogether — that’s called having standards).

Every time I step beyond my own snobbish attitudes, I’m rewarded with fun new experiences and friends.

So, to hell with snobbery. I’ve decided that my middle years will be devoted to experiencing things I’ve always tried to avoid – like genre fiction. (Last year I tried zip-lining and it was AWESOME.)

Speaking of Harry Potter, for the new season of the Mommy’s Pen podcast, we’re going to analyze the story structure of all seven books! The first episode is already available.

Filed Under: Adulthood, Books

The Impending Doom Shawl and Other Snowy Thoughts

January 15, 2017 by Sue Campbell

It’s snowpocalyse. Portland has had a foot of snow on the ground since Wednesday. Life as we know it has pretty much ground to a halt.

Two big lessons have come out of this:

  1. You know that post office claim of delivering come rain, sleet, snow, no matter what? Bullshit.
  2. And cabin fever? That’s totally real. And it causes you imagine being transported by Amazon drone to warm places with ripe tomatoes and low carb cocktails.

Naturally, I’m using the time to knit as much as possible. About two days before the election, I started what I EXPECTED to be a fun shawl project to distract me from my tummy butterflies about the election. I thought I was being silly for worrying that Hillary would lose. We all EXPECTED her to win.

And then. Well. We know what happened. But I kept trucking on my shawl, despite my misgivings about the 70s color scheme I had chosen. Hey, I checked with Nora and she liked the color combo. Good enough for me.

Now it’s a few days before inauguration and I’m finished with it. It’s so ugly, it’s cute.

The Impending Doom Shawl
The Impending Doom Shawl

Or maybe ugly times call for ugly shawls?

I tried not to let election feelings leak into the project, but since it was knit from election to inauguration, that was impossible. Therefore, I’ve decided to name it the “Impending Doom Shawl.” In the event of an actual apocalypse, I can use it to wrap my children around me while we struggle through a nuclear winter as opposed to just the strangely snowy winter we are currently facing.

Have I mentioned I haven’t been out of the house since Tuesday? This fact may be clouding my perspective somewhat.


This post was lovingly sponsored by my Patreon supporters (you can become one, too!). 

Filed Under: Adulthood, Society & Culture

May Other People Feel This

December 23, 2015 by Sue Campbell

Far happier than she appearsThe woman in this photo is far happier than she appears.
 
What a year, a life.
 
Even on days when a cold virus is plaguing the entire household (the baby in my arms must sleep sitting up so she can breathe), we are warm, safe, well fed.
 
We are kind and understanding and honest about one another’s imperfections.
 
Even on days when I’m so tired my inside voice is telling everyone to shut the eff up, it only takes a second to stop and think, oh yeah, this life.
 
The glowing skin of my daughters. The long hugs from my love. These walls. This wood. This fire.
 
These thoughts. These hands. These tears. These words.
 
Love and goodness has me surrounded, and I’m deliciously old enough to see it.
 
My wish for the New Year: May other people feel this*.
 
This life. Amazing.
 
—
 

*Especially Donald Trump.

Filed Under: Adulthood

My Work/Life Juggle & PEARS

September 29, 2015 by Sue Campbell

The only true multi-tasking I can do.
The only true multi-tasking I can do.

Here’s a somewhat complete list of what I did today.

A Tuesday.

Before 4:00pm.

  • drank first cup of coffee around 5:15 am
  • finished newsletter for a client
  • edited blog post for my favorite client: The Center for Parental Leave Leadership
  • kissed husband as he was leaving
  • showered/got dressed
  • changed baby’s diaper and fed her
  • woke up big kid
  • moved diapers from washer to dryer
  • threw a PEAR and a peanut butter sandwich in big kid’s lunch bag
  • loaded 45 pounds of school fundraiser PEARS in the car
  • loaded baby, baby gear, laptop and planner into car
  • drove opposite direction from school to deliver 25 pounds PEARS to a pregnant friend
  • drove kid to school while listening to Heard it Through the Grapevine on repeat so baby wouldn’t scream
  • chatted and ate other people’s snacks outside school (hard boiled eggs, cheese and salami — yum!)
  • coordinated getting cranial sacral therapy for the baby after getting rear-ended last week
  • realized baby has a cold
  • drove to friend/favorite client’s house, did second round edit on blog post & fed baby
  • realized I have a cold
  • drove downtown to deliver another 5 pounds of PEARS and meet old work friends for coffee and changed a poopy blow-out diaper on a Starbuck’s chair (that’s what happens when there’s no diaper deck, people!)
  • delivered 15 pounds PEARS to another downtown location
  • drove back to school
  • checked blood sugar and calibrated my continuous glucose monitor
  • checked email and texts while baby slept in the car
  • rescheduled a recurring meeting
  • sent text begging friend/neighbor to let the dog out because nobody had yet (oops — sorry, Charlie!)
  • watched school Michaelmas play
  • cried (as I always do when seeing children perform anything)
  • drove exhausted children home
  • ate plate of nachos & a PEAR
  • changed baby’s diaper
  • shared photos and video from play on Instagram and Facebook
  • fed baby
  • made a grocery list
  • vegged out on the inter-webs while baby slept on me
  • made coffee
  • cleaned the kitchen (because gawd)
  • removed bra
  • remembered to email link to favorite nursing bra to another mom
  • brainstormed article ideas
  • wrote this blog post

Filed Under: Adulthood

Parent Night

September 15, 2011 by sue campbell

Last night was parent night, or so I thought. I arranged for Nana Sandi to stay with Nora. I was excited Ben and I were getting to go somewhere together, even if it was just Nora’s school.  We’d chat with other parents and Nora’s beautiful teacher. Ben would use decorative beeswax to decorate a candle that would be used for Nora’s birthday celebration next spring.

Perhaps best of all, I would skip putting-Nora-to-bed duties.

When we got to the school, we had a ridiculously easy time finding a parking spot.  We walked in and checked the event board. I got the night wrong.

Instant date night! We headed to our favorite swank grocery store and bought anything we wanted. Then drove to Sellwood Park, on the banks of the Willamette river.  We kissed at the end of the floating dock and laid back, feeling the dock undulate in the wake of the Portland Spirit. We watched a group of kayakers alight on the shore in the dusk.

We climbed back in the car and drove around, finally parking in a neighborhood, talking about how we got where we are and where we want to be. Together.

When it was late enough that Nora would surely be asleep, we drove home.  

We walked into the house and Nora called for Ben.

Then she called for me.

I went to her and walked her through falling asleep: “Get comfortable, close your eyes. Take a deep breath and when you breath out, feel yourself sink into the bed. Now, everytime your body wants to wiggle, or your brain wants to talk, just say to yourself, ‘No, no, it’s okay, time for sleep.  It’s okay.’ Just pretend like you’re already asleep.”

“My body won’t let me!”

I told her to keep trying I would check on her once I was ready for bed.

“Get ready as fast as you can,” she said.

When I was ready, I climbed into bed with Ben.

“I had a good night with you,” I said.

“I had a great night with you,” he said.

“Mommeeeeeeeee!”

I padded down the hallway and climbed in next to Nora.

“I’m so tired Nora, I bet I can fall asleep faster than you can.”

“Are you asleep now?” she asked immediately.

“No.”

“Are you asleep now?”

“Stop it.”

“Are you asleep now?”

“Stop. Go to sleep.”

For a long time, there was only the sound of constant wiggling and the sniffling of a stuffed up little nose.

Then, poooooooooooooot!

“I tooted.”

I feigned sleep.

More wiggling ensued. 

Then, achoooo!

“I sneezed.”

I lay inert.

The wiggles continued and increased in intensity.  Feet jabbed into my calves. Finally, I little arm jutted through mine and she locked elbows with me. The wiggling stopped. She slept.

I padded back down the plush hallway rug to my husband.

 

Filed Under: Adulthood Tagged With: date night, laying on a dock is good medicine, parent night

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What kind of blog is this?

This is a blog for PARENTS. True, the writer, Sue Campbell, writes books for kids. But this blog is for grown-ups. It has some swearing and would be super boring for kids. Except for the swearing.

The PODCAST is for KIDS and PARENTS. In fact, my twelve-year-old daughter is my co-host.

If your kids like Sue's books, send them over to suecampbellbooks.com where there's some kid-friendly content. EVEN BETTER, join the mailing list. You get stuff for grown-ups and printable stuff for kids. And sometimes there will be super ill-advised giveaways or coloring contests for free books.

MORE ABOUT SUE: She makes an ACTUAL LIVING from writing words and marketing books and lives with her husband, two daughters, six chickens and one messy house rabbit in Portland, Oregon. And yes, Portland IS that weird. She really couldn't be any luckier.

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